Relationship to self mixes and flows with relationship to other so that we are able to creatively dance with life and bring our whole selves forward.
“New Moons…new growth…new cycles.
Cancer likes to protect itself by holding things in, so during the Cancer New Moon, we want to think about planting the metaphorical seeds we’ve kept hidden…
We need to finally bring those seeds out of hiding and sow them with intention.”
“New Moons are a time to consider the blessings of the previous Moon cycle and ponder the potential impact of the incoming one. Let the sweetness of summer wash over you…relax.”
Ready or not, life appears to be moving forward (the chariot), charging ahead on it’s way out of the time of Covid, as many of us harness the shadow (the moon) and the light (the sun) that we have discovered during this powerful time of transformation over the last year, we are pulled forward into the new world.
The shadows of the deep unconscious revealed in the dance of the sun and moon in their eclipses (lunar May 26 & solar June on 10) of this last lunar cycle are (hopefully) giving us the insight and the motivation with which to integrate some powerful lessons. Have things revealed themselves to you? Are you surprised? Flabbergasted? Relieved?
Sooooo much was revealed for me between then and now, specifically in my romantic life, inspired by a with a surprise romantic encounter that provided insight and resources on many levels: around my childhood abandonment father-wound; reconnecting to the healing energies of the earth; and revelation of an aspect of myself I‘ve been struggling with for decades!
It was only a week long, ending on the solstice and triggering all of the above. I let him come close because we had been in proximity for decades, passing each other like planets, but never quite connecting until we did. And when we did, it was his kindness, his guilelessness and the strength of his vulnerability that endeared him to me, and his love for his dog (as well as the dog) that compelled me to let him in. And oh my goodness what that attention did for me! It reminded me how full of light I am, like a rose in the sun I began to unfold and glow and remember what it feels like to be adored. I remembered how to adore myself.
When he left, my old wounds reared their heads and yelled things at me that just were just not true and so I told them so. I anchored into my capacity for self-resourcing and unconditional love. I took up the little girl who had been abandoned by her father and held her tight and let her know that this was not that, this was something else, something beautiful and although fleeting, we were good with it, we had chosen it.
His connection to nature, water, Hendry’s Beach, other things that also opened me to him were still open to me without him, reminding me of what a long and beautiful committed relationship I’ve had with nature, and how I had abandoned the beach that had been my holy place for decades. After he was gone I changed my schedule and now I walk the beach at sunrise, reconnecting to all I had been missing in myself. I’m so grateful to reconnect to sacred and holy things that are my responsibility, not anyone else’s.
And then the big one hit, the question of why, all this time, my whole adult (and my adolescent) conscious life I have been aching for long-term partnership but only engaging in fleeting relationships (a night, a week, 6 months, a year, a few years) I thought I was unavailable because I was wounded, damaged, etc., it turns out that a major (unconscious, and heretofore unknown) part of me is not (& has never been) interested in being what she considers “tied down” or restricted, instead she has always wanted variety, freedom to choose, to explore to experience, and she is the part of me that has been running the show from behind the curtain!
“Every man is two men; one is awake in the darkness, the other asleep in the light.”
And because we were not aware of each other, we have been unknowingly at odds with each other all this time. The conscious part of me, constantly aching and yearning for partnership, marriage home and children, just could not understand why that was never happening.
The revelation of that very powerful part of my unconscious, let’s call her my shadow, and the understanding that she has been making most of my relationship decisions up to now has been a pivotal moment, flipping the coin and reframing a fundamental aspect of my self perception. The list of defects explaining why I have been single for so long has been revealed to be merely my mind’s need to find reasons that make sense, which have nothing to do with the actual reality of the situation. Despite all imaginations to the contrary, I am perfectly imperfect and loveable and enough, just the way I am and “I” have CHOSEN to remain single because “I” wanted to; because, of course, “she” was never really aware of “me” either.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
What parts of you have been revealed to you recently that you may have never known about? What Unconscious has been revealing itself to you your whole life but you haven’t either been paying attention, or have been using your mind to explain it away with self-defeating reasoning? What will you do when you are finally introduced to them?
I am now in the process of getting to know that aspect of myself (or should I say, we are the process of getting to know each other), actually I have noticed her all along, outside of myself. I have respected and admired her in many of the women I’ve met and whose stories I have read or watched or heard, I just never realized what a big part of me she was. We are in the midst of an internal discussion leading to an eventual negotiation on how to move forward...
When will we partner (I firmly believe it is my turn for my choice to be considered!)? How much more exploration before then? How do we maintain our independence and sovereignty as we enter into a committed relationship with another? Who is the best partner for us? I am quite confident we will find our way forward together. For sure it won’t be a conventional relationship. I‘m so excited to see what types of men come forward now that I am working holistically on the trajectory of my life.
And we (all of as a part of the collective, unconsciously & consciously) are moving forward with the Chariot, harnessed to and integrating the light and the shadow. We all have the capacity to utilize the blessings (and blessings in disguise) to move our lives forward. This is what the chariot is all about and why at the top of this article it is sitting between the sun and the moon.
Which leads me to the three cards at the bottom of this article. For some of us, especially for myself, this strong forward momentum entails the healing aspects of balance and Temperance; creatively, lovingly, pouring the light into dark and dark into light, with one foot in the watery unconscious, one foot on the terra firma of the conscious material world.
This meditative alchemical transmutation of finding the balance between self/individuation (the lovers), and partnership (the two of cups) is an integral of the forward momentum that is happening and the healing that is occurring in the world today. Relationship to self mixes and flows with relationship to other so that we are able to creatively dance with life and bring our whole selves forward.
“…It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us...We are all meant to shine, as children do…It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”