Dare to Love & Accept Yourself Completely

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

~Sharon Salzberg

“Mindfulness helps us get better at seeing the difference between what’s happening and the stories we tell ourselves about what’s happening, stories that get in the way of direct experience. Often such stories treat a fleeting state of mind as if it were our entire and permanent self.”

~Sharon Salzberg, Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation

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Each of us has a personal story; a narrative that we tell ourselves about who we are. But too often those stories limit our possibilities and achievements. If we can learn to see and experience life in the present moment, free of any negative thoughts, concepts, beliefs, or stories, then we will be liberated to be present with our experience; notice our story; and see the truth.

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In his book End Your Story, Begin Your Life: Wake Up, Let Go, Live Free, Jim Dreaver offers the message that we can overcome obstacles, develop our creative power, and discover our true nature by letting go of the personal stories that define us.

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Here is one of the exercises he recommends, a simple practice of eye-gazing to reconnect with our true selves, and work through the layers of opinions and thoughts that may have built up around our identities. The ultimate goal of this practice is to be able to look at yourself with total acceptance and forgiveness, with genuine love and kindness.

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Preparation: Minimal ~ You just need a mirror, and a couple moments of quiet. If should choose to prepare more elaborately, it may be helpful to find somewhere you can sit comfortably while looking into the mirror, light some incense or annoint yours temples with a soothing oil of lavender, and put on some tranquil music.

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First, Look into the mirror and focus on looking into your own eyes, soften your gaze, and try smiling in a friendly, loving way at yourself.

‍Be present with all thoughts that arise; learn to welcome them.

‍Really notice your self-talk; you can tell yourself, 'Oh, I'm getting caught up in that judgement again

‍See the truth...and the truth is that judgments and self-criticisms come and go, just like the suffering they create comes and goes, but you, the beautiful, conscious being, are always here. So breathe, relax, and, as you look at yourself, be the beautiful person you are.

As you gaze at yourself in the mirror, choose one positive saying, or mantra, to set the tone of self-love and positive energy. For example, 'I am pure, loving consciousness'...or 'My true nature is pure, loving awareness'...

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When we make the effort to examine the stories we tell about ourselves, our self-talk, our beliefs, we can see the difference between what we say, and what IS--the beautiful luminous reality of our true being, no longer obscured by imprecise or negative language and limiting beliefs, passing strong emotions, and external influences.

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“Remember, in the vast infinity of life, all is perfect, whole, and complete, and so are you.”

~Louise Hay

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This practice is a taste of what is possible. If you are seeking a deeper systematic approach to strengthening your self-love, try Louise Hay's Mirror Work: 21 Days to Heal Your Life, a daily program with an exercise in front of the mirror, positive affirmations, journaling, an inspiring Heart Thought to ponder, and a guided meditation.

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Mirror work --looking at oneself in a mirror and repeating positive affirmations-- has long been Louise Hay's favorite method for cultivating a deeper relationship with yourself, and leading a more peaceful and meaningful life. The Mirror Principle, one of Louise's core teachings, holds that our experience of life mirrors our relationship with ourselves; unless we see ourselves as loveable, the world can be a dark and lonely place. Her book is all about learning to love oneself and experience the world as a safe and loving place. Each of the 21 days is organized around a theme, such as monitoring self-talk, overcoming fear, releasing anger, healing relationships, forgiving self and others, receiving prosperity, and living stress-free.

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"I change my life when I change my thinking.
I am Light. I am Spirit.
I am a wonderful, capable being.
And it is time for me to acknowledge
that I create my own reality with my thoughts.
If I want to change my reality,
then it is time for me to change my mind."

~Louise Hay