Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.
~Rumi
Be yourself; everyone else is taken.
~Oscar Wilde
As often occurs with these articles, when I plan ahead, start early, collect and prepare and imagine I know what I’m going to write about, something happens that lets me know I was actually preparing for another month with all those notes and quotes…
This month I had planned to write about the Devil Card, about learning to embrace our shadow as friend and transforming our fear into love. Funnily enough, it was only after the Lovers chose me to write about them, instead, that I remembered that the Lovers and the Devil are reflections of each other (Cupid mirrors Pan, the couple that embraces each other in the Lovers are “trapped” by each other on the Devil card) and so in essence I have begun the journey towards the Devil card by starting first with the Lovers. (And as the journey through the major arcana cards of the tarot is the soul’s journey and each soul has it’s own trajectory, this seems appropriate.)
The last minute change of cards was inspired by the simultaneous Full Moon Summer Solstice on June 20. This auspicious event only happens about every 70+ years and early in the day, someone asked me what it symbolized beyond the normal occurrences, what made it special. And what occurred to me is that as the Summer Solstice is the height of Sun’s zenith, the turning of the year from waxing to waning, so it is with the full moon in the turning of the month. Both the Sun (the archetypal masculine impulse) and the Moon (the archetypal feminine impulse) are at the fullness of their waxing and turning to wane on the same day, together; what a lovely alignment of masculine and feminine! And while that conversation brought to mind the Lovers, I had yet to change my mind about the Devil card for July.
It wasn’t until later that night, after the Summer Solstice Sunset seen from Carpinteria Beach, as I rode my bike home towards the moonrise and was surprised and delighted with the most beautiful sight of the blushing pink/orange moon (actually named the Strawberry Moon) peeking out from behind and then rising huge over the mountains. At this point my heart knew that I had to write about the Lovers (The last time this Full Moon Summer Solstice occurred was in 1967, during the “Summer of Love”!). And so the Devil article will be well prepared for whenever it's called to completion. I’ve learned I’m not really the one in charge here, I just follow the clues and stay open to what is unfolding.
While it is about Sacred Union and Hieros Gamos, the alchemical Sacred Mystical Marriage (seemingly represented to us with the simultaneous energies of Sun and Moon on June 20), the Lovers card is about this sacred union occurring INSIDE oneself. It is the sacred union that occurs within each one of us, between our feminine and inner masculine (animus) or our masculine and inner feminine (anima). Often the individuation process is accompanied by dreams of marriage and romantic relationship, and it is the symbolic and archetypal marriage of our soul and our spirit. And the product of this union is our creative offerings the world.
On the Lovers card from the Sun/Moon Tarot deck, there is a dark haired dark skinned man and a light haired light skinned woman embracing in the center; she holds a chalice and he holds a sword. Cupid floats above them, just below an arch, aiming his arrow of love at the couple while their children stand close by, one holding a flower, one a staff. Below the couple is a winged egg, with a snake wrapped around it, situated in between a lion and an eagle. So much powerful symbolism regarding the union between the masculine and the feminine (the Chalice and the Blade) and the courage (lion) it takes to follow one's heart in order to create (egg) from an earthly (snake) perspective which should take flight (wings) to allow for a broader perspective (eagle).
I recently attended a workshop at Pacifica Graduate Institute where I began to get a glimmer of the definition of Individuation. It was explained to me that it is a time, usually in our forties (we need some life experience under our belt before really entering this process) where a person simply becomes so much themselves that they separate, individuate, from the herd. We actually don't even try to do it or possibly even notice we are doing it, it simply happens that we become so much ourselves we no longer care or think about what the herd requires from us, we simply are our self. We become Individuals and in doing so we bring to the world the gifts we chose to elicit from ourselves in this incarnation. We become the change we have been looking for, we become Love in the process of loving ourselves.
When all your desires are distilled;You will cast just two votes:To love more, And be happy
~Hafiz
Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I’ll be mad.
~Rumi
And (although Rumi would like to kick start our process for us, by the time he wrote this he must have been fairly individuated himself) we don’t even really try to make this happen, the Individuation Process is what is happening for all of us, we are all somewhere on the journey, like walking the Labyrinth (There is a sweet inlaid stone Labyrinth on the ground just outside the Trinity Episcopal Church on 1500 State Street at Micheltorena, in Santa Barbara). If you’ve ever walked a labyrinth with other people you realize how wonderfully convoluted this journey is that we are all on and how we may be walking right next to someone and thinking they we are at the same place, until our paths veer and we realize we are our way into the center while they were just about to get to the exit.
The first time I walked a labyrinth I was amazed at how different people were; some walked on an internal journey, others used it as a social opportunity. Each person had their own way of walking, greeting or not greeting, making eye contact or not, with the others on the path, the etiquette of passing and being passed was up to the people and it was interesting to see who would step aside and who would keep going and how it was navigated. It is a beautiful flow of different people at different phases walking the same path in different ways and yet all going into the center and coming back out again. Its very symbolic of the journey of Individuation we’re all making, on our soul's journey through this lifetime; to a fabulous integration of soul spirit and body that hopefully culminates in the authentic expression of each individual.
Today you are YOU, that is TRUER than true. There is NO ONE alive who is YOUER than YOU!
~Dr. Seuss
...We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?...We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same....”
~Marianne Williamson,A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principlesof A Course in Miracles
Each of us has come here to be just who we are, there is only one of us, like snowflakes. And as we individuate we become more ourselves and model for others the opportunity to become more themselves. We each have gifts to offer the world; whether it's a song, a math equation, a tender healing touch, a knitted sweater or a poem, a sand painting or a delicious meal, the creative expressions that comes from our inner sacred mystical marriage, like the sweet children in this card, are the offspring of our Individuated being.
Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
~Rumi
When the Lovers make their appearance in a reading, while it can be an indication of romantic relationship, it is ultimately a powerful message from spirit that a sacred mystical inner marriage is in the cards for the querent (the one who asks the question). It is the indication of the healing of the querent and within his or herself which also brings about healing in their romantic relationships, allowing themselves to find what they’ve always yearned for, either by healing the current one or beginning something new.
This is the integration of the body and the spirit, this is becoming whole in one’s self, in our inner world, which eventually elicits and brings forth the opportunity for healthy and whole partnership in our outer life. Loving and honoring ourselves, re-membering our divinity and our Holy Wholeness; our sacred relationship with ourselves can only improve all relationships in all aspects of our lives. And as we explore our creative endeavors we put that love out into the world in an integrated and wholly, holy new way.
We are People who need to love, because Love is the soul's life, Love is simply creation's greatest joy.
~Hafiz
When we begin to love ourselves, we re-member and recognize the divinity in our self, and from that place we are able to recognize it everyone we encounter, even elicit it from others. You know those people you just LOVE to be around because they make you feel so good? The ones who seem to see something in us that we so want to see in ourselves? They (we) are the ones who do that for each other. When we love ourselves we love the world, we raise the vibration of the planet and bring all of humanity closer to realizing the incredible power of love to heal not only our emotional lives but to heal our physical bodies and dare I say to Heal The World.
From this place of alignment and self love we are able to come into alignment with another. For me, that is the meaning of the Rumi quote at the beginning of this article. The definition of love has shifted in our world. When we look at romantic relationships, we can see that at some point in time they evolved as an agreement of survival, the feminine would provide the emotional nourishment in exchange for physical protection and financial support. With the feminist movement things changed, and women are now not only providing for themselves, but are also players out in the wider world of politics and public policy, changing the way the world is being run.
And men are coming into the feminine aspects of themselves, where their desire to provide emotional sustenance and nurturing is seen as appropriate (The film “The Giver” offers such a powerful perspective on this re-emerging aspect of the divine masculine). We are integrating the feminine and masculine aspects in ourselves and the world is all the better for it. We all have the capacity and the responsibility to embody and integrate both masculine and feminine aspects of ourselves. This is a powerful aspect of the Lovers and the individuation process; ultimately assisting us in becoming better lovers, better partners and better global citizens. This process helps us to re-member our role as stewards of this planet, not just blind unconscious consumers. We Are the World & We Are The World, Too.
As we individuate, we come into right relationship with our own hearts, we learn how to listen from the inside, and from that place we are more apt, likely and able to actually, truly, follow our hearts. I have long believed that when we all remember how powerful and beautiful we are in our capacities for loving, being lovable and being love, together, as the collective human race, we can focus focus that love, like a laser beam on any and all issues, global warming, toxic waste, war and famine, etc, and we will heal these things instantaneously.
As an Aquarius, I do tend to be able to see a little ahead of of our current situation, and embrace that vision for the collective good of all, and that vision encourages me to concentrate on continuing to love and honor myself and everyone I encounter, in order to raise the vibration of my own world, inner and outer, one heart at a time, starting with my own. I hold that vision for the future in my heart while celebrating Interdependence Day (and every day), with love expanding and exploding along with the fireworks!
Feel free to come by on the 4th Friday in July (July 22, and also on Sunday July 17th) and let's take a look at the Love in your cards!SaveSave
