“She remembered who she was, and the game changed.” ~Lalah Delilah
“She remembered who she was, and the game changed.”
A spiritual rebirth is usually not accompanied by celebratory hallmarks, but instead, consists of a variety of often jarring and tear-jerking events. Sometimes it happens all at once, but often it comes in a series of painful happenings that challenge us to look at ourselves and the world differently. Whether a loss of a loved one, a divorce or heartbreak, a financial hit, a loss of career or status, these settings in our lives, our family, work, career, represent the matrix of our life’s game board. Sometimes we can get used to the matrix and identify with the game board as our identity, such that when the matrix of our game board changes we may be spun into a crisis of sorts, which often precedes an awakening to a spiritual rebirth. Lalah Delilah, puts it beautifully when she draws attention to the point of a spiritual rebirth: waking up to who you are so you can change the game. Warning, spiritual rebirths aren’t a walk in the park, rather it's a progressive, usually painful process. But it doesn't have to be unmanageable. Follow along as I cover some key points to help you in the process of awakening to your spiritual rebirth.
Spiritual rebirth is a progressive process from which we move from a state of crisis to remembering who we truly are. Years ago, when I felt my relationship with a partner crumbling, I was forced to face myself anew contemplating being single again. I had remained partnered with him not just because I loved him, but also for the community and familial connections I enjoyed. When I realized the relationship was toxic for me, I had to face myself anew and wake up to the game I had been playing, in which I sacrificed key relational factors of commitment and quality time, for the communal and familial camaraderie I had come to identify with. I love Delilah’s quote because it reminds us that as we shift how we are seeing ourselves, then the game changes. I had to see myself as more powerful and valued than my relationship with his family made me feel. I had to wake up to my own power to change the game for myself. This started the process of me remembering who I was, facing the crisis within myself about who I needed to be, or who I thought I was in the world, as his partner with his family. It wasn't instant but gradual given my own resistances. I wasn’t looking for a rebirth, I was just looking for loving, compatible partnership. Why did it seem so hard? What were my resistances related to?
Imagine changing the matrix of your life, the game that both supports you and at the same time traps you, and all it takes is the willingness & capacity to remember who you are. Yet when we’re in a crisis, which usually triggers an awakening, leading to a rebirth, we’re usually blind to its unfoldment and we’re resistant. My instincts had led me first, to try to change him and modify events around me. I went to therapy and talked a lot about him instead of myself. Secondly, I also spent some time looking for the “magic pill”. That is, the one thing that would ease my suffering or in combination with entrapment number one, the one thing that would change him or circumstances. I had to wake from forgetfulness over to the space of remembering who I was, gradually. I experienced this as a process.
Sometimes we wake up all of a sudden, like the Buddha, who after many incarnations came to his moment of complete realization, but, he no doubt had lifetimes of practicing to remember who he really was, and most of us are not that far along in our evolution. From my work with clients and students I have noticed that a faster awakening deprives one of the richness of absorbing the full potency of your power, setting yourself up for creating the same negative situation for yourself later on, namely because of pride. If you are in the middle of an awakening, leading to a rebirth of sorts, take your time and show yourself patience and love. Don’t succumb to the trap of focusing on externals or waste time looking for the magic pill. Develop a willingness to awaken to your spiritual rebirth and thus you’ll develop greater capacity for its full unfoldment. Don’t rush. Treat yourself how you would want another to have patience with you. When you give yourself time, the real lesson of who you truly are takes form rather quickly of its own accord as you develop the willingness and capacity to remember the real YOU.
So what does it take to really remember the real you? What does it take to remember and to keep remembering it and to speak, act and think from that place, instead of over-identifying with your game board? What must be done to rest in letting go, so that old parts of your life can fall away and die, so that a new you can be rebirthed into a more fuller and beautiful expression of your life?
These practices allowed me to let go of the old matrix of my game board, so that I could rebirth myself into my new life. Letting go of attachments to who I thought I was or what I needed to be allowed me to remember who I really AM. This enabled me to awaken to my spiritual rebirth causing my game to change. I saw myself differently. I saw the world differently so my world changed. Then the relationship with my partner disintegrated because the changes I made no longer accommodated the old me in that now outdated dynamic. My spiritual rebirth saw me holding myself differently, living and speaking differently. I no longer made excuses for not getting my emotional needs for commitment met, and I eventually partnered with an amazing man who I now call in every sense of the word, “my partner”. My rebirth occurred in stages and over a period of years but everyone’s journey is different. I believe it took the time it needed to take so that the shift could be in deeper alignment with the love I wanted to experience in a relationship. Whether you’re suffering job loss, have to let go of a relationship, or suffering any other type of crisis, you can use these steps to awaken to your spiritual rebirth and thus change the game for yourself, in more ways than you can now know. One thing I also used to tell myself is, “Someday this will all be distant history” and lo and behold, today it is.
If you’re feeling a need for spiritual guidance in your current process I am available through the online reader’s portal. I’m happy to assist you with my intuitive clairsentience, patience, kindness and care. Sending you waves of love and light on your journey.