The Energetics Of Love: 3 Steps to Having More Love in Your Life

In honor of Valentine’s Day, here are the basic steps in working your energetic matrix to manifest love in your life...

 "The giving of love is an education in itself."
~Eleanor Roosevelt

The longing for love and partnership is wound into the human DNA, I believe, not only for the perpetuation of the human species, but also for the development of our evolving souls. It’s through loving & bonding that our souls come into the most unique and creative situations manifested for the exact life-classrooms we each need at any given point in time. As Ms. Roosevelt pointed out, (while the details of any life-classroom we might presently be facing will be unique to each person), the giving of love is a Universal life classroom leading us to understand the ebb & flow of love energy in our lives so we can channel more of it, instead of shrinking back, in fear of it. 

Loving relationships help us in soul evolvement as well as contributing to living longer & healthier lives overall, according to an 80 yr long Harvard Study of adult development. Valentine’s Day gives us the opportunity to tune into the higher frequencies of love-energy, to put ourselves to task on this all important aspect of soul evolution in stronger and healthier bodies, at that.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, here are the basic steps in working your energetic matrix to manifest love in your life. While there are many more than I can expound here, these basic three practices will set the scene for love to unfold. I believe the component of attraction to be primary to promotion and while both are needed, use of attraction in the energetic sense tends to move things along faster, so let promotional efforts be accompanied by these simple energetic practices below. 

Step 1- Energetically clean out the garden of your mind & history. 

You cannot give what you do not have and you cannot receive if you believe it’s impossible. The energy of love isn’t connected to any one person, place or thing, but often we have negative feelings and beliefs about ourselves or past loves that inhibit the flow of love-energy into our lives or lead us to give our power to conduct love, away. '

Cleaning up the garden of your history means surrendering any negative “spells” you’ve been living life with that sound less than loving and kind. “Spells” like “I’ll never find love”; “I’m too old to find love”; “So and so hurt me, so it’s too painful or scary to love again”; “There’s no one out there for me”; “I’m too (anything) to find love”; “I’ll never find anyone else who’ll love me like so & so did”; “My last love ruined it for me”; ect, ect.

The most powerful energetic exercise to release yourself from those “spells” is the channeling of mercy-energy, because when you allow yourself to be saturated with mercy-energy by channeling it through you, you become open to forgiving yourself for ever needing to hold onto those “spells” in the first place. 

To channel love energy, you only have to go within, for love is your very essence, beneath the mind-noise that tells you otherwise. 

  1. Close your eyes and place your gentle attention on your heart area, the heart chakra from which love primarily emanates. Begin breathing slowly and deeply. Let your body inhale slowly from the abdominal area as you say words of love and kindness to your heart chakra. Gently affirm, “Thank you for the love that exists within me and all around me. Thank you for letting me tune-in to and channel this love-energy in the form of mercy and pink light. Thank you for blessing me with the knowledge of myself as loved and accepted unconditionally, regardless of my history or programs. Thank you for letting me know myself as Love & Loved”. 

  1. Visualize with each breath, pink light pouring into your body from the heart and crown chakra. With every breath as you focus on your heart chakra and then your crown chakra see more pink light filling up your body, until you feel it coming out of your pores. This could take several minutes, so just let yourself have the time for the experience without rushing. 

  1. Mentally affirm, “Thank you for disintegrating all negative self-images, all untrue perceptions that my body and mind are holding around love. Let these be softened and transmuted into self-forgiveness & forgiveness of all others. Grant me the courage to love again and love more deeply than I have until now. Let this love and mercy heal all of my past relationships, blessing all the people I’ve ever loved or been loved by or been hurt by. Let all be blessed with freedom, healing, illumination and love. Thank you for attuning my frequency to receive true love.” Allow yourself to sit with that energy coursing through your body. 

  1. End with the following affirmation, “May I be graced with this love energy through the course of my day and into my sleep, for the blessing of my love-life and for the healing of all others. With gratitude & in full faith, so be it”. 

Step 2- Giving love-energy spins the wheels of love in your life

While the above exercise generates love energy at the same time it channels mercy-energy, giving love-energy also has to do with your daily affairs and the mind-set you hold for yourself.  Katherine Hepburn once said, "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get–only with what you are expecting to give-". In order to do this step you’ll need to get out of the house to spread love and give it unconditionally. This means smiling at passersby; being kind and interested in others; listening to others speak with close attention; performing random acts of kindness with a smile in your heart and on your face; and to do all this without a hidden agenda but for the true act of loving unconditionally. 

I know you thought I was going to tell you to say a spell or do a ritual and while spells can work, when you are living your spell, as Hepburn alludes to, love travels through you like electricity and makes you magnetic. You cannot help but draw the attention of potential loves, or admirers of all sorts. If you want to add something more, an amulet can help you assist in conducting love energy in your daily affairs. You can wear a rose quartz or amethyst pendant or carry a palm sized rose quartz stone or heart in your pocket. This will naturally imbue your auric field with a tinge of pink energy making your efforts less effortful. 

Step 3- Practice to receive in ways you used to say “NO”. 

If we feel too uncomfortable speaking our truths or saying No, then giving love will feel scary and extremely uncomfortable, but by withholding love, we also deny ourselves the experience of being loved. Zora Neale Hurston wrote: “Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place”. This is particularly true since it can feel strange to duty-date, but the practice of “duty dating”, which means going on dates that you may not necessarily feel all “butterflies” about, lets us practice the dance of giving and receiving in ways that give us the opportunity to practice saying “no” or experimenting with saying “yes”.  

I remember a date I once accepted, even though I was uncomfortable. Our initial hour-long conversation went well and his enthusiasm & expectation left me feeling apprehensive. I remember saying, “Well, it’s really been great chatting but I can’t say how I’ll feel in physical presence, because chemistry is different in person.” Normally, I would’ve refused the date because of how eager and sure he seemed that we’d be a good match. I had dated enough online to know that no amount of bonding via phone or facetime could compare to what’s exchanged in physical presence, but this time I let myself say yes to a date. 

While I had a nice time, I didn't necessarily feel it was a good match and given how much time I spent at the table with him that night, I knew I would have to speak honestly. I prefaced it by saying I had a great time and thanked him, then I said that, “On the scale of chemistry, 10 being the highest and 1 being hardy anything at all, that I felt it was for me, only about a 6”. He laughed and said “Ouch” and I laughed also and said “I’m sorry, but what can I say, chemistry is just that”. I had inadvertently depersonalized it while stating my position and he respected it without feeling too deflated. We finished our glasses of wine and hugged each other goodnight and he was off and away. 

Had I not taken the opportunity to “duty-date", I don’t think I’d be skilled enough to take care of myself in a romantic partnership. It was part of me learning to receive good things for myself while owning my power to say “no” and honor any feeling within me that told me to say “yes” if I had been so inclined.

Eventually, I did say yes to an old love from 5 years prior. I had left him behind in a trail of soul-evolvement only to catch up with him later. We weren’t able to learn what love had come to teach us in the first round, but had both been learning love’s lessons through practice in our respective dating lives, which brought us back into each other’s orbits.


Intuitively, I know these 3 steps laid the groundwork for real love to emerge in my life when the time was right. In fact it did so in each relationship the Universe brought to me until I landed on the one I could truly  call a “partner” not just a boyfriend. 

May these Valentine’s Day energetic matrix practices bring you deeper into the love you are within and attract to you the love you deserve easily, rapidly, safely & properly. 

If you want some help in generating love energy in your life to manifest more romance or receive intuitive guidance in executing these steps just book a session with me in the online readers portal. I’m happy to help you in any way your soul feels called. Enjoy your Valentine’s Day month ahead. Remember to relish in the love you are attracting to yourself at this moment!

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